Today was the first day of school. Just like usual, it still felt like summer at 90-something degrees, and if it hadn't been for school, we would have been at the pool. The kids looked cute in their new clothes, with new lunch boxes. I think they both had a perfectly fine day; good friends, great teachers and whatnot.
But here's my problem, and I'm hoping to get some feedback and help. My kids *hate* school. I mean they really, really don't like it. I am always puzzled when I see other kids rave about how excited they are to go back to school because the way the end of the summer is viewed at our house is not unlike an execution date. Eliza and Wilson aren't convinced that it's worth anything even when I remind them of their friends, the fun acitivities etc. They would so much rather stay at home. And I guess I should take that as a compliment, but it doesn't really work that way. Eliza has been begging for years for me to homeschool her. The funny part is, Zane and I used to always say that our kids would either go to a hand-picked, awesome private school or be homeschooled. Well, things don't always work out the way you think they should. I could homeschool them. I'm a teacher by trade, and love nothing more than helping kids learn. I'm not one of those people who thinks homeschooling is for lunatics. I wouldn't do it to make sure my kids never heard a swear word. I wouldn't do it so I could make them think that the only good opinion is my opinion. No craziness. But I think it has it's place. Jedediah Purdy was homeschooled. So was Sandra Day O'Connor. John Travolta homeschools his kids! Oh, wait, never mind.
Tonight Eliza and Wilson both cried themselves to sleep. They are dreading going back to school tomorrow. The plain and simple truth is, they would rather be home. I fancy myself as a pretty open-minded person, and have always taken the advice of a good friend who told me to always go with my gut feelings when it comes to my kids, and do what feels right for them. So why do I insist on walking the road well-taken and making them go to school? Because I wouldn't be able to blast The Dropkick Murphys while I clean the house? Because I would have to go in the bathroom and lock the door to gossip on the phone with my sister? Or because it's just easier to send them off every day and assume that it will all work out in the end??
Help! Please! Any and all opinions are welcome. I'm off to cry myself to sleep.
9 comments:
I don't have any advice because the quiet of my house far outweighs the cries of my children..
And your kids look so cute! But it's your fun lawn chairs in the back that are calling my name. We need to sit out front in the sun with no kids and drink a big Pepsi..oh, wait :-)
I've always said that I'd do something (charter school, homeschool, the army) when a situation arises. Would the crying and begging be considered a situation? They have good grades and good friends right? Could it be more than apron strings? Just some thoughts. There are lots of moms out there home schooling. You could find a great group to join but it would change a lot of things. But you like change.
I don't know if you already do this or not, but I volunteered at my kids schools so that they could see me there and I would be able to talk to them about specific kids or activities. That way they thought it was funner because I was more involved. Then I also got to have my quiet time at home too.
I don't know if this will help, but I hated going to school too, however I'm very grateful mom made me go. I dreaded going and I cried often, but the social skills alone make going to public school worth it. Besides, you need your "alone" time!
I say wait a few weeks. If they are still crying themselves to sleep at that point, than I would say that counts as a "situation", as Nora put it. The tears on the night before school could be more about the fun and freedom of summer ending than about social anxiety or academic pressure. But if they are still crying themselves to sleep a month or two into the school year, something else is at play. Right? Also, I try to constantly remind myself that they need to be stretched and challenged in order to grow and progress. All the changes that come with a new school year are hard and scary, but a little bit of 'hard and scary' is good for them in the long run. In the end, you know your kids better than anyone else and you are an amazing mom. I am sure that whatever you decide will be the best thing for those two cuties! --Ali
What a dilemma. If you decide to keep them home, let me know and I can hook you up with some great resources. Not an easy situation. I think the others have suggested some great ideas, though.
I think you should start a homeschool...and I will enroll my kids as well...just sayin'.
I am sorry though- it's a tough call. I will say that I have never seen such sweet, unassuming, shy kids pull so many maneuvers to avoid school. (I still marvel over Wilson throwing himself from a moving car the time Zane was taking him to Ms. Patricia's!!!) Good luck. You'll figure out what's best for you and your kids.
I say, kick them out the door and lock it behind them! Waaaahhhh. Tell them if they cry, you won't walk them to school?? I know their school and their friends and they all seem wonderful. Also you are involved a lot in the school and they will be just fine. Was it last year the Carlie P. cried every morning about going? Hand in there, they need school. Love to all!
Mom, you're awesome!
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