It has been a long time since my faith was challenged by another person. When I was younger, and the only common thread I shared with people in my life was attending the same college, I had lots of challenging conversations. When I was 20 years old my daily discussions often included literature, religion, philosophy, relationships and politics, and were more intellectually diverse than which park I should take my kids to, or whether I should meet my friends at Blue Sky or Baja Fresh for lunch (although, in Salt Lake, there was the almost-daily discussion of whether my friends and I should eat at The Pie, or at Chop Suey Louies...). When I was 20 there were a lot more doors open, in terms of directions I could take myself. As I have cruised along, making choices and closing doors, I have found myself in a nice little groove, where I am enjoying the fruits of my decisions--a family, a household to run, a husband to grow old with and a wonderful church and neighborhood community with lots of great women to surround myself with. So it isn't often that I find myself in a position of having my faith and beliefs challenged.
I was at the gym a few days ago, and my iPod ran out of juice so I plugged into the TV and watched a program about the New Testament on the History Channel. I love the shows that pick apart the scriptures, and explore different explanations for the plagues of the Old Testament, or the time frame for different groups of people in the scriptures, so I was happy to have something keep my company while I jogged my way through an hour. This particular show was about the writings of Paul, and the parts of them that have been kept out by the early churches. Fine. I know that the Old and New Testaments that we have today aren't complete and that much has been lost through the centuries. But when the narrator started implying that certain relationships between certain folks from the scriptures had certain elements of certain questionable morals, I almost fell off the treadmill. I kept watching, as the 'experts' gave their opinions on what the texts meant, and I found that in three minutes, the basis of everything I believe was challenged and that the person I hold most sacred, and at the center of my beliefs, was degraded.
Over the past few days, I haven't been able to shake the feelings I had that day. Feelings of disgust, of sadness and of a defiance I haven't felt toward anybody in a long time. I forgot what it felt like to have my beliefs offended. As I was in church today, two scriptures were read that settled in my mind with a comfortable sense of peace. I had confirmed to me two things. One, that I have much to be thankful for in the way of scriptures, modern and personal revelation, and faith. And two, that patience is rewarded, and that faithful patience is ultimately rewarding.
"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." Mosiah 4:9
"But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9
I'm glad to have had the chance to reflect on why I believe, not just that I do. I need to do it more often. Probably not at Gold's Gym though.
3 comments:
Way to be Heather- your strength of testimony is one of your best attributes!
From the time you were small you have always stood up for your beliefs and I remember a comment on a report card by your second grade teacher who said it "would serve you well" and I think it has. I'm so proud of your standards, how you have (are) raising your family and the strong person you are. Satan uses many tactics to depress and upset us, but by going to church and reading you were able to SQUISH those tries by him. I'm so amazed by you!
Thanks, Mom!
Post a Comment