The Sanctity of Jake Ryan and Mr. Darcy

I learned something most disturbing today. Let me preface this bit of insanity by saying that my daughter is a loyal watcher of Hannah Montana. Fine. If she loves Miley, then I love Miley. So I get almost-daily updates about Miley/Hannah trivia. For instance, did you know that Hannah Montana was originally going to be called Alexis Texas? True story. Anywho, Eliza was giving me the rundown on a recent episode and I my ears perked up when I heard the words, "Jake Ryan". I said, "Jake RYAN?" (And at this point, anybody who has half a brain knows who I'm thinking of, right?? Red Porsche, preppy sweaters and the suavest of manners) Yes, Eliza tells me, Jake Ryan. He's a character on Hannah Montana. I quickly pulled up google and found this imposter. Srsly. Who is responsible for this blasphemy?? There is only one JAKE RYAN, and he ain't this guy.

That bothered me *almost* as much as being at Barnes and Noble yesterday and seeing a table covered in a huge display of Twilight stuff. AND, I am not making this up, placed exactly next to copies of 'those' books were copies of Wuthering Heights, Romeo and Juliet, and Pride and Prejudice. The covers had been re-imaged to be all Twilight-y. I almost fainted. Granted, I only read about 1/10 of the first Twilight before coming completely unglued at the ridiculousness of the story and the outrage that so many trees gave their lives to print it, but I cannot even comprehend comparing Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley to a guy who, frankly, looks like he stinks. And I think Emily Bronte would weep if she knew her beloved Catherine was spoken of in the same breath as BELLA. As if. And don't even talk to me about Shakespeare being anywhere near sparkly vampires. I had to reach for my Rolaids (kidding) and thought about writing a strongly worded letter to...well, to my blog.