Essential Things

My friend taught the best lesson in church yesterday, based on this excellent talk. She wrote three lists and had everybody brainstorm the things that fit into each category---things we do that are ESSENTIAL, things that are NECESSARY, and things that are NICE TO DO.

She made the point that these categories relate not to the mundane, where cleaning the toilet is essential, but to our overall lives. Our lives as in where we came from, why we're here and where we're going after we die.

So all of the sudden, the ESSENTIAL took on a much bigger meaning, and when she asked us to take 60 seconds and write down what we felt our mission in life was, I really caught the spirit of what she was teaching.

I realized that my lists were oftentimes going in the reverse order than they should. If my mission in life is to be the most excellent mother and wife I can be and to 'find' myself spiritually (what I wrote on my paper), then my ESSENTIAL list shouldn't include things like criticizing people's Facebook posts, driving to five different stores to find just the right picture frame or spending hours looking through Country Living magazine or trolling Martha Stewart's blog to get new ideas for my yard.

Now, I'm the very first person to speak up and say that those things aren't BAD (ok, except the criticizing part), they just belong on my NICE TO DO list, which shouldn't take up very much of my time. But they do take up a lot of my time. And, because I enjoy them, and it helps me to procrastinate the things I don't enjoy doing, which make up my NECESSARY list, like keeping my home tidy, feeding my family good food, organizing our finances and whatnot.

But, as my friend pointed out, when your ESSENTIAL list contains things like daily prayer, scripture study, temple attendance and taking time to ponder the meaning of my life, then the things on the NECESSARY list, like cleaning and cooking become divine. Seriously. They become the ways to a mean. If I keep my house nice and have everything in order, then I have the time to read books with my kids, I'm less frustrated (=less grumpy), and am more open to new things that come along to increase the meaning of our family life.

I thought of the hymn that says, "Because I have been given much, I too must give". I was glad to be reminded that because I live in a strong community, a free society, have a happy family and a healthy body that I do need to 'give' my time to big things. ESSENTIAL things. And then somehow, cleaning my (seeming) miles of wood floors all the sudden doesn't seem so bad anymore.